Kuch Pagalpan

Baaz auqaat tumhain khud ko ankhain dikha kar ek baat se mana karna parhta hoga. Kiyunkay tum khud ko dhamki deti hogi kay main falan falan kar bethungi. Ya tumhain aisa mehsoos hota hoga kay tum falan falan kar beth sakti ho, ya kar bethogi.
Tab.
Tab, tumhain khud ko aankhain dikha kar poochna parhta hoga,

Acha?
Jo tum soch rahi ho kar sakogi?
Kar sakti ho?
Himmat hai?
Is kaam ka faida kiya hai?
Aisa karnay se tum barhi duniya fatah kar logi!
Wah wah ho gi tumhari.
Surkhuro ho jaogi Amma Abba kay agay, aakhirat mein Allah kay samnay!
Tum karo ye, zaroor karo.
Tum ye karo aur barbaad ho jao.
Karo! Shauq se karo.
Jaao.

Ye guftugu tumhain sochnay ka waqt de deti hogi. Tumharay marz ki tashkhees kar deti hogi. Tumhain sahi aur ghalat mein farq karnay mein madad deti hogi. Phir dobara jab aisa koi moarh aata hoga jahan tumhara bas na chalta hoga aur waswasay aur besaropa khayalat tumhain niggal janay kay liye apnay siyah hathon se tumhari taraf lapaktay hongay tab. Tab. Tab tum unhain ek sheeshay kay murabbay mein qaid kar kay apni soch ki 'synapses' mein dobara phailnay se rok deti hogi. Kiyunkay faisla tum kar chuki hogi us kashmakash kay baad jo tumharay ander thi; tum aisa kuch na karogi, na kar sakti ho aur na hi tumhain karna chahiye.

Baaghi

Since we are human, we disagree with so many things about others among us. Disagreement shows you got an idea of your own, it could either be inherited or something that might have been a result of your cognition. How do you get people you disagree with infuriated?

1) Disagree
2) Tell a story in which you make them look retarded.
3) Address them with a dystopian description of their according-to-you-bogus-ness.
* It's crazy fun when it's an extended sentence - example: Hi! Big ball of bursting adipose with severely sad leptin magnetizing future cachexia.

Now, you would do the above mentioned points if you are an absolute dolt.

Tantrum

It's extraordinary how a subject grows into governing a certain period of your life.
Just yesterday it was,
"Sana ko to MBBS ka shauq hai," Amma would say.
"Beta, khoob mehnat karna, medical college mein barhi percentage honi lazmi hai."
"Allah kamiyab karay bachun ko bus," Khala would say.
"Haan, saray bachhay barhay parhnay walay hain, Allah roshan mustaqbil day, achay colleges mein dakhila de, Ameen."
"Beta, ab so jao, bohat raat ho gaee hai," Amma would tell me to go to bed during an all-nighter before the exam.
"88%? 90% kiyun nahi aee?" Abba would gently question.
"Bachun kay exam ho rahay thay kaheen nikalna hi nahi howa," some auntie in the family would say.

Today, things have grown into something like,
"Saria ki mark sheet agaee hai," Mania said.
"To main kya karun?" I replied.
"Jao aur le kar aao, aur kiya," Hanif said with a teasing tone.
"Main aisa koi kaam nahi karnay wali," I refused.
"Kiyun? Tumharay to susrali hain wahan, bhag bhag kar jaya karo," Hanif so had a grin.
"Hadd hoti hai, Mamu, hadd hoti hai," I slapped my forehead for the fiftieth time today.
"Kiyun? Aram se jana aur baghair kisi jhamelay kay mark sheet le aana," he kept on going.
"Astaghfirullah, yaar mainay aaj tak dekha tak nahi hai usay, maaf kar dein mujhay."
"Haan beta, aisay hi hota hai, dekhta dikhata kon hai?" He was amused all right.
"Kiya hai masla aap kay saath, aap mujhay ye bata-ein, aur main nahi kar rahi us se shadi wadi," I walked out of the room.
"Hahahaha," I heard him laugh.

Yes, as annoying as it may sound, the purpose of life is Shaadi. Shaadi an event after which you will go back to being an ordinary human being living your different but still one heck of a dull life.
Haven't I seen Nadia? So, she got married, she moved in with us, she had a baby.
Now what?
She stays at home, cooks one meal a day, would indulge in her phone and then a little in television, watch the Kaam Wali do her baby's dirty clothes, she'll pick up an argument with Hanif and then they won't talk neither have dinner together, then Hanif would just take us all out and things will be fine, the cycle repeats every now and then.
How nice!

Okay. So, you are going to live a dull life anyway, why not get married and live one?
Fine. I get that, but why make it so dramatic?
People who treated you as a person have change of ideas. You are a park now.

"Aray aap bhi aeeye na," Amma had said to the next door neighbor who had sent someone to meet us.
"Nahi, bachi ghabra jaegi, easy feel nahi karegi," I heard her say.
Wow! I mean that's really nice of her.
Luckily, August has passed and they couldn't wait until next year.

"Mera MBBS?"
"Haan, haan, tumhain parhnay se kon roak raha hai?"
Sure, I believe that.

Grow up, beta. Grow up.
Shabash.

Post Exam

He took a sharp turn from one of the lanes deeper into the block of 13-D. The sooty, almost-winter, desserted, possessor of highly illuminated series of fine lively houses enriched with glee and chatting quietness of the streets project one of the most beautiful attributes of Karachi; life.

Manum maanay azmandi kay be tonay yaazdaaran
Ghum-e-choon to naaz ni ni
Ghum-e-choon to naaz ni ni behizaar naaz-daran
Kohe-e-afataab-e-chashman wa jamaal toos to roshan
Ager astobazgeerum bad bay chashm-e-raazgaaran

"Phir, batao kahan khana khaana hai?" He asked the girls.
"Soup peena hai, kaheen se bhi," I said.
"Abay bhai, tu to rehnay de, last time ka tere israar per mushroom soup bhool gaee kya," he said to me.
"Yaar Mamu, mujhay kiya pata tha us mein cream barh dega woh gadha," I told him.
"Haan bajjo, aap to rehnay dein, you have the worst taste," Mania told me.
"Kam se kam paisay detay waqt insaan ko gham to na ho," Mamu said.
"Yaar, to ro kiyun rahay ho sab, it's called discovering, sheesh," I advocated for that last soup disaster.
"Dekhain jaldi faisla karein warna mera baby uth jaega to kuch nahi ho paeyga," Maami reasoned.
"To batao kahan ki taraf karun?" Mamu asked.
"Chunkay mainay dinner kay liye specially kaprhay badlay hain, is liye durr chalain," I offered.
"Haan, itni mehnat ki hai Sana ne sirf dinner kay liye dur to chalna parhega," Maami said.
"Kahan?" Mamu sounded a little annoyed.
"Clifton!" I said.
"Pagal hai tu, itni dur nahi ja raha mein," he refused.
"Come on!"
"Hamara baby jaag jaega itni dur gaey to," Maami worried.
"Yaar, subah chutti hai, let's go, dekhain meray exam bhi khatam ho ga-ay hain, ek trip to banta hai," said I.
"Aur mera mid term ka paper cancel ho gaya hai Nusrat Bhutto kay gham mein," Mania said.

Then silence fell in the car while I indugled in the passing streets and houses and guessed what possibly could be going on behind so many walls, noticed architectural details.

Yaar ko hamne jabaja dekha
Kaheen zahir kaheen chupa dekha
Kaheen mumkin howa
Kaheen wajib
Kaheen faani,
Kaheen baqa dekha

"Ye dada abbu logon ka ghar hai," Mamu said pointing to one of the houses.
"Hayat hain dadu abbu?"
"Nahi."
"Aw! Tayyab log?" I confirmed.
"Haan, Tayyab Ali pyar ka dushman," Mamu said in a jolly tone.
"Hahahahah," we laughed.
"Dada abbu to Nadir bhai kay dushman thay," Mamu recalled.
"Hahah, woh kaisay?" Mania and I asked.
"Roz darwaza bajatay aur Nadir bhai ka puchtay, ab Nadir bhai naha rahay hon ya kaheen aur masroof hon to woh intezaar kartay jab tak Nadir bhai farigh nahi ho jatay, aur jab woh puchnay jatay kay kiya howa to koi sawal kartay jaisay 'Nadir betay, tumharay ghar paani aaraha hai', Nadir bhai kehtay jee aa raha hai to Dada abbu 'haan hamaray haan bhi aaraha hai' keh kar ghar chalay jatay, roz koi baat puchnay aatay, Nadir bhai ko bolwatay aur 'hamaray haan bhi horaha hai' keh kar Nadir bhai ki tapatay thay," Mamu laughed as he recollected.

After a long drive we pulled over to The Olive Resturant, took the last table which was a dive away from the dark calm terrifying ocean, and had food. The baby kept sleeping in the soothing breeze.

His Keloid

The agonizing constricting pain reminded him of the uncertainty of future. If he gets to it, he will modify it to his taste but there was always a good chance of never making it there. The smile that he carried wasn't indicative of his sober outlook on life. It was a keloid. It was not something he had a choice over just like the continued pain. He was so much stronger and bigger than the pain but people around him and their naive incessant attempts that revolved around carved ideas based on speculations about the one he had lost would throw him off balance. The balance in which he had managed to pull him self together, tied with ropes of fate.

The disclosure of nooks of a blazing individual concealed within the eye that sights demands insight and must face disruption in thought process if it is revolving around carved ideas; it destroys the essence of discovery of something too alive, malignant. There is no simplification. There is no refuge from the invasive blaze of a person except when its impact is undiscovered or somehow limited with a definition. In elsewise conditions the impact of a life or the absence of it upon another is lethal in so many ways.

The running amok of neoplastic cells that attain immortality, the volatility of such an invincible paraphernalia is the paradox of life as it ends first in killing and later only in suicide. When she died, he had stood still. Her fading warmth, her anxious eyes, his world in her long lost smile was lost with it. Death knocked on their door even before they had the chance to discuss it, mutilating and crushing them.

When the existence of someone becomes so blazing, it burns itself and others. The blaze of an individual's existence exemplifies what it stands for and the absence of it burns deeper.

Adawatain theen, taghaful tha, ranjishain theen magar
Bicharhnay walay mein sab kuch tha, be-wafaee na thi

Ek din

Tumhain us khambay ki awaz aa rahi hai? Koi din mein kaee martaba us ko peeta karta hai. Shayed woh apnay dost tak koi paighaam pohchata ho. Shayad us pit-tay howay khambay ka koi muntazir ho. Wajah jo bhi ho, ye din mein bar bar pit-ta howa khamba meri tawajjo ka markaz zarur banta hai.

Isaaeyon ki ibadatgah kay aqab mein jo pursukoon si sarhak thi woh wahan ghanton ki goonjti howi kaamp mein apni sahaili kay liyay seeti bajati. Kuch hi lamhon baad ek bareek seeti uski janib dowrhti aati aur woh irada kar leti kisi bahanay ka jo isaae madrassa aur yateemkhanay mein us kay dakhlay ki jhooti wajah hota.
"Aay! Tum kon ho?"
"Unzila."
"Tum yahan parhti ho?"
"Nahi to."
"Phir yahan per kis wajah se aaee ho?"
"Meri dost hai yahan."
"Nahi, ye koi tareeqa nahi hai, chalo, bahar jao, shabash."
Woh apni puri taqat se ek kay baad ek gehra saans bharti aur hawa mein lagataar teen chaar seetiyan muntaqil karnay kay baad payr ghaseet-tay ghar ko chalti.

Uski bezarar si zindagi kabhi ek to kabhi dosri taraf naachti dikhaee deti. Deewani si woh, deewanay say us kay girdonawa kay log. Ek roz jab Tariq bhai ko rayt kay oonchay se paharh per jo Amber kay haan aya tha leta dekha to karhi jiddojehad se teelay ko sar kar kay un kay braber mein ja leti.
"Tariq bhai?"
"Hmm."
"Ap yahan kiyun letay hain?"
"Kiyun, dekho, asmaan ko dekho."
"Bohat dur hai!"
"Bohat wasi bhi."
"Bohat piyara bhi."
"Bohat neela bhi!"
"Bohat sajeela."
"Bohat rangeela!!!"
"Bohat shameema!"
"Hahahahahah."
Hanstay howay Tariq bhai us kay gaal per halka sa thaparh maartay, kaprhon se rait ko jharhtay aur chalay jatay kisi aur duniya mein jo sirf Tariq bhai hi dekh saktay thay.

Shaam ki cha-ay ki kaitli jab shore karti to saath mein braber ki deewar se koi sar jhankta aur awaz aati, "Unzila! Seerhi."
"Jee," Unzila apni zindagi ki kashti Shameema baji kay saamnay seerhi laganay ki mushaqat mein apnay hi paseenay mein dibo deti.

"Ammi, Shameema baji ko aj phir cha-ay ki khushbu aagaee!" Chillatay howay apnay peechay ek gulabi rang mein lipti do jhuki jhuki aankhain chorh aati, per ye koi aj ki baat na thi, roz ka mamool tha. Shaam ki cha-ay kay saath papay na bhi hon, Shameema Baji ka hona bohat zaruri tha.

Shameema baji ko aath saal ki omer mein bohat hi shadeed bukhaar charha tha. Tab se unkay chehray per moti moti, garhi garhi, gehri gehri lakeeron ki lehrain si theen, khaal ki. Unki zabaan aur alfaaz ki adaaegi mein bhi kuch marorh se tha. Dosron ko un ki batein na samajh mein aain per Unzila sab samajhti thi. Aur sach to ye tha kay usay Shameema baji kay liye deewar se seerhi laganay mein jitna maza ata utna school se chutti kay waqt kumail dalwa kar gola ganda khanay mein bhi na aata. Saray mohallay mein sirf us hi kay ghar ek lakrhi ki seerhi thi jo woh apni deewar se lagati aur Shameema baji har shaam deewar phalaang ker us kay ghar cha-ay peenay aateen.

Shoulder-less

Some times when you keep so many things just absorbed within you either incorrectly or correctly for that might have been the need of time, and then they pile up and one day you crack. You crack and you can't figure out if it's sadness, angst, pity, sympathy, a way to alleviate, self doubt or plainly a derogatory trait to define who you are. But at that time, you the absorber, the rigid, the unbreakable, the don't care, the it's nothing big, the so what and in Hafsa's words "the inflexible" just need to be left alone. You might need a shoulder, only the smart one that can get to you. But those around you just don't have the shrewd shoulder of steel. From their hesitation of offering one to your need for one, the idea of a shoulder and possibility that it could cure your alloy of so many different events compounded as one, dies some where.

The problem with offering a shoulder to a hard-nut is you thinking they are too hard for a shoulder and they wanting not to be known as the foamy ones. The solution is between the two because we all have hard-nuts that we love apart for being ones ourselves. In the former case you need to protect their hardnutty-ness and also let them express their foam. You need to be skilled. You need to be disinterested in to trying to talk it out with a hard-nut. That's crazy hard-nuts don't talk their stuff out, unless they are certain of the fact that you carry no interest in the stuff they offer and it is just a nice conversation. Hard-nut talk their stuff the hard way. There is no need to tell them how foamy they can be. There is only need for silently understanding.

Take it from some one who knows, all humans can be foamy, you need to know the trick. Are you ready to blatantly throw yourself in foam but harder than steel over a hard-nut, over-riding the hardnutty-ness? Is your expression of care strong enough? Is it capable of shushing the hard-nut? Is it capable of pulling the hard-nut's hair and forcing it on your foamy shoulder of steel? The shoulder that is foamy enough to soak the hard-nut's tears and steel enough for a hard-nut to shed tears on it.

Don't wait for a hard-nut. It's hard and it's a nut. It can carry the form and not have a shoulder for as long as it lives. But it should be you who for the betterment of a hard-nut make it easy for them to express their foams and return to their nutty-hard-nessy-ness because you love them. If you can make them understand your shoulder of steel can force them on it, chances are hard-nuts being human will use it once in a while.

And I thought I was THE hard-nut.
Sheesh.

Behass

Behass kya hai?
Mushkil kya hai?

Mushkil to kuch nahi,
Tum bana lo aur baat hai.

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai,
Kya Virology kahan beth kar parthni hai,
Ya Virology parhni hai?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Kya baat karni hai,
Ya tumse baat karni hai?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Kya pait barhna hai,
Ya kuch khaas khana hai?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Kya shadi karni hai,
Ya kisi khaas se karni hai?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Pakistan mein rehna hai,
Ya Pakistan se bahar nahi rehna?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Kya mehaz GPA banana hai,
Ya MBBS kisi maqsad kay liye karna hai?

To phir behass kya hai?
Behass kya hai?
Kya koshish sirf mouqa dhoondnay ki hai,
Ya maouqa dhoondh kar kuch hasil karnay ki hai?

Behass hai kya?